Well. That's that.

And that's just what it is. I am furious. I am steaming. I am righteously pissed off right now. It's not my fault, not my problem, and all my fault and all my problem. . . all wrapped up in a shit colored box complete with a crappy fucking bow.

Issue #1. There is a situation in my family that warrents attention, however I can't even address it because there is no solving it. Certain people have allowed their collective lives to become a swirling storm of horror all due to laziness. I won't be there for the hearing. I don't want to be there for the hearing because I am not sure the "system" is wrong at this point. Unfortunately there was a set of circumstances put in motion 8 years ago and now the (one of the) climax(s) is coming to fruition. I can guarantee this will not be the conclusion, only a drama point on the time-line.

Issue #2. Weddings. Mothers and daughters. It's all bullshit.

She actually said it was not fair of me to put a guilt trip on her about this?

Excuse the fuck out of me?

WHAT?

Goddamn it her genetic code is ringing true. All I asked was to come and shop with me here. She's the one that asked me to help choose the dress. She also said she could come during Xmas break. Now it's too far? NOW? Like my location slide farther away over a two week period? All because she doesn't want to pay to have the dress altered. Not even if I write the check for it. Nothing is worth her time to come here. Not even her mom. And now it's called a guilt trip if I even mention it.

Well thanks for the reality check.

But as I have learned, they all feel that way. All will go out of their fucking way for each other but if it comes to me oh FUCK no. Will anyone in my family actually see the life I am building here? Do they even want to see the home I found on my own and the town that I will live out my life in? Will any of them actually give a flying shit that I have survived two house fires, a divorce, two back surgeries, educated myself on my own goddamn dime, made my way alone to a new career, let alone birthing 5 children to this world that grow up to honor their father and ignore their mother?

Hell no. It's all bullshit. And that's that.

Home or something like it

Living in the midwest hill country is interesting. I hesitate to call them hillbillies (the locals, that is) but somehow it just fits like an old comfy coat. The speech is rugged. The style is coarse. The common sense is either deep or shallow but not so much in between. I think I will fit in just fine. HA.

I have been at the Lake for almost a month now. Little Jamaica was not as bad as I thought it would be, but still I am glad to be out of there. Living with co-workers is just a bad idea all the way around. No maybe about it. Bad. Damn bad. So bad it could be a tee-shirt... "if your co-worker asks you to move in just say NO!" Yeah, it is like a relationship that never should have gotten past the third drink OR the ride home. Chalk that one up to another life lesson.

Maybe I should put that in my up coming best seller "The Idiots Guide to Surviving Crisis". Ya think?

Back to the story... the Lake is awesome. The lifestyle is slow. People are either genuinely nice because they are local or genuinely in a good mood because they are on vacation here. Not bad. At all.

I found a house to live in. Well Roomie #1 found it. She rented half of it (it's a duplex) and I took the other half. Keep in mind I love my buddy, I just don't want to live with her. I will however gladly be her neighbor. She rented the half I liked the best. It felt more normal in layout than the right half, but hey, that's cool. Then she backed out. oops. Yes. You're right. I took the left half. It was "home" the minute I walked in the door. The only problem? I didn't tell her I did it. Not even when she volunteered to let the cable guy in while I was at work. Not even when I handed her my key and said "thanks!".

Yeah. I. Am. A. Real. Shit.

Deal.

It wasn't that bad. It was funny when we talked about it later. She tried to let the cable guy into the wrong side, all the while posing as me since they would not hook it up with out me being there.

I'm sure they thought she was on drugs.

:)