How?

Sad news for me. Through the miracle of technology, I can tell who is reading me. And who is not ...

My dad has been like a silent rock throughout my life. My dad was there when I lost myself, and gently held my spirit until I came back. He has also been a faithful reader until his eyes failed him. Now I know how bad it is, even if others try to console me, even when others say "yeah, it's not good, but he's getting along ok."

uhhh... bullshit.

He hasn't read my blog for weeks now. I finally learned he can only read with a magnifying glass now. And he still drives. And he is facing this alone basically, because that's what my dad does. Face shit with silent endurance.

Am I letting him down by not living next door now?

I feel like I am. When I went "away", he came over every morning just to make sure I got out of bed. He stood in my kitchen while I ranted like a lunatic and didn't hold judgement. He watched over the baby and me. He made sure.

How can I make sure?

How?

Goin' to work..and other stuff

Yes, every day now I go to work faithfully. I sit and visit. I fiddle with the merchandise. I wander aimlessly. I don't get paid unless I do massage, any massage. Yeah, I know there will be some swing time. It's ok too. And it's better than coming up with $450.00 which I don't have, just to do less than nothing.

I really like the new situation, and the new people. It is fun to get to hang out with girls again. It is fun to get to dress in something besides tee shirts and jeans, AND it is really nice to get my hair done whenever I want it! WooHoo! Lovin that one!!

On the home front, we are dog-less. I finally had to call it quits with her. Maya was just not the companion I had hoped for. She was a little south of crazy and I think a serious candidate for puppy prozac. After all, aren't they supposed to get calmer as they grow? Every day with her was a new adventure into what she would destroy of mine. The last straw was my briefcase with ALL my credentials, client information, lists, .... just everything.... yes, the bitch shredded it.

I am not a dog person.

I am a cat person. Hell my husband even says I act like one. Ha. Oh well... at least I am not a hyperactive mutt.

Son #4 is going on his first overnight at a friends house. Damn I remember being nine years old and having sleep overs. How fun was that?! So this is it tho... my last baby is doing what he is supposed to, growing up, moving on, I wonder, will I have a trauma filled night like I did when he got on the bus for the first time? Nah... I am a tough mother.

:) what bullshit.....