As I sit here with my morning coffee, my heart is just not in it to write. Yesterday was not fun. It started out fun, but went crashing in flames as the minutes ticked along.

I went to school early to trade massage with Steph. After visiting with the administration about job placement locally, I went to find my friend. I could tell instantly there was something wrong. She lives with her sister who is a labor and delivery nurse. Karen had been through hell at work, C-sections, fetal demise, (oh and what the hell kind of phrase is that anyway and can the medical establishment come up with a MORE fucked up way to deal with grief? ) ... just all kinds of shit. I agreed with Steph, it was horrid and she needed a massage.

So that went well, I ripped off some new techniques from her, and we went out the door to lunch. Her phone rang and CJ was on the phone. I watched Steph break down in tears as we were walking. Oh shit, I thought. What could be wrong now? Did CJ wreck her van? Is CJ's hubby ok? Like normal, my mind just took off.

No. CJ is ok. It was our other girlfriend from school. Her daughter is pregnant. They knew it's a girl. Baby already has a name. My GF even moved into a larger apartment just to accomodate a new baby in the house. All for......

The nurse lost heart tones after placing mom on the monitor. 40 minutes later..... yes I said FOURTY DAMN MINUTES LATER she decides to get another NURSE for a second opinion.

an HOUR after that, they get someone in to do another test ...... meanwhile, this family was left in the dark, no discussion and just where the fuck was a DOCTOR?

So my GF-soon-to-be-gramma-but-not-now spent the day getting people to go to her new home and pack and remove all of baby girls things. Today my friends and I are headed over there to paint a little pink room white before mom gets home.

Sometimes life just sucks shit.

Oh! always remember to interview your doctor. After all, You pay him.