A banner day

Sunday was one of those banner days in a mother's life. It was the type of day that needs special recognition yearly, it needs a plaque set out in a power spot in the garden, it will be most certainly committed to my memory for all my life.

Sunday June 13, 2004.

My son called me from Durango. Jake is a wildland fire fighter, based with the Durango Hot Shot crew. He is livin' the life, and loving every minute of his 16 hour days in the soot and heat. He has made a true success of himself, by himself, with only his wits and charm to work the game. And let me tell you, Jake is loaded with the charm. I have seen him just schmooze the pants right off of people and make them love every minute of it, all the while they think they are doing him a favor. When he was little, parent/teacher conferences were always the same....

"How is he doing in school, is he where he should be academicly?"

"Well, he certainly is social."

Always the same answer. Always.

Then he hit his puberty years. Oh my god I was sure he was really not my child and the hospital had made a serious error in the switch. Where was my sweet social child? Who the hell was this moody little stink who seemed to delight in making my day hell just for the sheer joy of it? I swore when I became a mother my children would not go through the terrible teens. What an idiot I was.

Side thought.... maybe that is why people should not start having babies until they are in their 30's. I certainly was to stupid and arrogant to realize I was not going to re-invent the wheel in the parenting department.

Anyway, Jake was moody and bitchy and really just unpleasant at times to say the least. But, he was so very typical, and only an experienced parent would have recognized it. At the time, I thought he just hated me and I was a horrid mother.

Then he went to college.

Then he graduated and went to work for the US Forest Service.

Sunday he called me and visited for a while. We were discussing his little brother who is now 15. I was laughing and explaining how mild his moodiness was compared to Derek. His poor brother is really going through it as far as the terrible teens go. Experience now tells me .... Hey, not my fault, he will grow out of it and become the fantastic person God created him to be, but for now... jeez we go around and around...

Here comes the banner part...

Jake says to me... "mom, I am so sorry for being such a little bitch when I was growing up. When I think back to when I was 13 to 19 and I think of the shit I did to you and put you through... I am so sorry."

I am not a failure. He is a good man. His brothers and sister have all the potential of being as successful as he. I have decided if I can just get through the next 11 years, by then Ian will graduate high school, and as long as the Loreal company keeps making color 5G, I will be set, grey free, and most importantly, know in my heart I was a good mom after all.