Unpleasant surprises

Really. I am an unsuccessful blogger. As I cruise through past posts the pattern gets all to obvious. Once every six months? *slapping my hand* *bad blogger... Bad blogger!*

Oh well. It's mine and that's what happens.

Our little family has been through hell since the last post. My hubby and I each lost a sister, almost a month apart in fact. Both were fine, then both weren't. No drama, just gone. It still takes my breath away.

We lost Connie first. It was on the heels of the best weekend we had spent with friends in years. In fact, our friends live where there is zero cell service. We had no idea until we got back "on the grid" so to speak. Then the phone messages started. And continued. And killed a little place that you hold sacred in your space. You know the one I am talking about... the big sister pedestal. Husband is a middle child and I am a first born, so this was not something we had prepared for. She was his mom-figure and the only big sister I will ever get.

Note to self. life doesn't give a shit if you are prepared or not.

My sister and I were not close. We had a rocky relationship in the past few years. Rocky? Wrong word. Boulder-y would be a better description. But missing her is as real as it gets. I found her number in my phone the other day and it reduced me to mush on the couch for the entire day. Try as I might I just could not get it together. Her birthday was just as bad. I had planned to spend the day with my daughter and granddaughter ... just hanging out... you know the drill. When I realized it was Jane's birthday it was all over. I couldn't even get dressed. Then I got pissed because I couldn't get dressed. Then I got really pissed because it snuck up on me like a thief in the night.

Typical of our relationship though. I hope eventually I will get over being surprised at the mountain of misery this has presented me. Not that I am in a hurry, but ... I'm just sayin'.

So my blog still works. Pretty amazing since it seems I get here one a year or so. There has been so much happening and only the ethers know why.

Update: living up country.

We moved back. We've been here for two years now. I still miss my people and my job at the spa. Honestly I thought life would slow down when we got back but it insists on careening along at the breakneck pace as usual. There are many people that still have no idea I am here. Question like, "Are you back on vacation?", or "Really? You live HERE?". Son #2 is amazed I can slide in and stay off the grid completely.

It's ok. I like it.

But alas, I find myself unemployed, worried (again) about not enough funds, crunched financially, and really wanting to find a way to make some real cash from home.

Anybody got any ideas? I am looking at Affiliate Marketing, but damn it I am tired of getting scammed.

We have met some new friends here. That's pretty amazing when you consider all our new friends are former Coloradoans and choose to live here. We haven't known each other for very long at this point (just 6 short weeks!) but it seems we have all been friends for a lifetime. I am relatively sure Sister Tam and I have shared more than one lifetime. Thanks to all of our lucky stars, we are on another trip through history.

Well, at least I know I can still get here to vent/prattle/play.

Always remember, good fences build good neighbors..

Peace.

New Year, New Outlook

Here it is, another year swiftly past in my life. 2009 had some remarkably psychotic head snapping events.
It marked the year I moved back to my old home town. (scary).
It marked the year out guitar business went into a serious tailspin, thanks to a the corporate giant sending out the attack dogs.
It ticked off another year of living the goodlife thinking we were broke on our ass. Actually we had no idea we were NOT broke, but we are now. After our guitar build got shut down and the economy tanked, tanked, and then really tanked.... we have had to reevaluate every single thing in our lives.

Our cable is gone..

Tomorrow I am shutting off our home phone..

I have been living with a coat on in my own house for a month because heat is just too expensive..

My son's coat has a broken zipper, so instead of just getting a new one (which I would have done a year ago) he wears a hoodie under his coat.

And to top off the lovely list of crap that sits on my head, I know my paycheck will fall short each and every month by $600.

Life is just a bitch right now. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I really believe that.

We have signed up to take a financial course, both of us, as a couple. It is the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University. We have gone through the first lesson about saving saving saving. All ya gotta come up with is a thousand bucks.

That's all?? Should be easy right?? If my grocery bill didn't cost more than my house payment, and if my luck holds out hiding from the credit card people, I might be able to get it done. We dug up $45 today.

I will be using this for my online diary about the next chapter of learning to become debt-free.

Stay turned for class #2! It starts tomorrow.

Jody at http://wacondasprings.com/blog/ passed along an award to me called Honest Scrap. Thanks Jody! You have jump-started me ..... again....



The award rules are simple – pass the award to seven worthy bloggers who post from the heart, and list ten honest things about yourself.



Here's my ten.



1. I stress too much.



2. I am ready for the country to wake up and remember where we came from... for real.



3. I love to get my hair colored.



4. I write, which keeps me sane, which explains a LOT why I stress too much since I convince myself I am too busy to "write".



5. I love having every weekend off. Now if I could only figure out what "off" meant.



6. My grand-daughter is the most amazing thing I have ever seen, and she is only a month old!



7. I cry when things really should not have bothered me at all.



8. I'm leaving on my first vaca in 10 years and I am scared shitless to go.



9. I would run over broken glass in flip flops to get away from a spider.



10. I'm happier than I have been in years. .... who knew?



Now here's my seven:



Guy K at http://charmingjustcharming.blogspot.com/



George at http://www.decrepitoldfool.com/



Pammy at http://lollygaggin.blogspot.com/

The Beatles, The Wizard, and me.

Long since silent, I feel it is time to shake off some dust and clear away the remnents of spider webs. My longing to write has reared it's possessive head. Are we ready for this?

Time will tell.

Life tends to deal each of us a hand of cards, but forgets to give us the rules to the game. Only a lucky few find the short cut while most of us simply wander around in the ultraviolet mist stubbing toes and scraping knees. I have my fair share of stubbed (or broken) toes and knees with battle scars the size of oranges. ... and so on I trudge.

I have spent the last two years working and living as a massage therapist in a spa setting. It has been the most demanding, draining, grueling, ... rewarding, fulfilling, amazing journey ever. But my body is breaking. My hands are not going to last two more years, let alone long enough to ever hold my grandchild pain free if I don't stop. Every joint in my back shifts at random, and my feet have declared themselves their own country and sued the rest of me for secession from the Union. It's a hard one, Uncle Albert.

I have made the decision to move back to my hometown. Just the thought of it makes me break out in a clammy sweat. My head tells me to panic, but my heart hears my children wishing me back. I worry about leaving my career. I love it. Undoubtedly. I hope there will be the occasional soul looking for bodywork with a purpose and not just fluff. but my family calls.

For them I will go. They need me worse than I need this. So now I am clicking my ruby slippers and whispering ever so softly....

~There's no place like home... there's no place like home...~

Guess who's still here?

It seems I have not updated for quite a while. Should be easy enough to have topics eh? Between the (my) economy going straight to hell, and politics, and still working in hel... in a place I'm not crazy about... yes, there's enough to talk about.

Economy. As I imagine everyone is, I have never worked so hard for so long and been so broke. It's amazing. I have always had to watch my money, but never have I worked for a paycheck and my paycheck won't even cover necessities. Luxury things like cable and cell phones are no longer in the equation, however cell phones are on the necessity list since my home phone is not connected. So does that make groceries a necessity or a luxury? I spend $129 at the store last week, bought the cheapest of cheap groceries, no meat at all and still came home and wondered what the heck to do with this stuff? Eggs and Top Ramen? Pretty sucky meal. Maybe if you could throw some chicken and peas with it, but who gets that kind of stuff? Must be millionaires.

Politics. I'm pretty firm with my choice. My republican parents will probably melt in their chairs to know I plan to enjoy watching change happen with the next administration. My candidate has been the only one I have ever seen that actually knows (or shows genuine understanding for) what we are going through personally and what we are heading into as a society/planet. My children are going to inherit this disaster. The LEAST we can do is provide them with leadership showing enough drive to enact honest change.

Just as a business cannot do transactions using simply a cash register now, we as a society cannot continue to condone "politics as usual" in our capital and right on down the list. The days of politicians and smoke filled rooms have gone the wayside. We all got drug kicking and screaming into the information age, thus leaving "cash registers" behind. Now we must launch ourselves into activism in the political realm with a commitment unlike before and leave old school politics in the dust.

Gone are the days of waiting for "Washington" to act. We must act. In my humble opinion, Barack Obama is prepared to lead us into action.

Happy Holi-daze!

The holi-daze have officially begun. We drove out west to see the family for a couple of days and ended up leaving less than 12 hours after we arrived. I shouldn't really be suprised at that, however, the notion of the picture perfect family holiday still exists in my heart.

Shhh... stop laughing. I know it's not real. In fact, I have never even seen one.

But I still want it.

Ahhh yes... it's hard to live a PollyAnna lifestyle with my rose colored lenses so irreversably scratched.

Once when I was little...

I remember once when I was little, it was a ritual in the morning to give my dad a kiss and a hug and say "I love you!" as he was leaving for the day to go work at the farm. I remember sitting on the couch and saying (stupidly) that I was too big for that stuff. I remember the look on his face. It's not a good memory. At least not for me.

Well, life teaches you things. Usually the hard way. As I watch California burn, as I remember my TWO house fires, as memories of people in my life that have passed before me, as I think of people I still have in my life, as I think of those I will still meet....

I know now.......... You are never too little or too big to say "I love you!" or to hear "I love you!".

Say it. It makes a difference. Even when you don't realize it.

CNC's, Guitar Builders, and Beast Masters, OH MY!

The Humble Guitar Builder and The Tale of the CNC. *smirk*

Once upon a time there was a humble guitar builder who desired to change his stars. Every night he contemplated a way to change his method of building to make it faster, better, bigger.

He tried many many things, including selling clothing and things to make his dream come true. Alas, it didn't work out.

So he tried again.

He got a different shop to build in, and this made the Mrs very very happy. You see, she now has a place to paint while he builds. A very nice situation, indeed.

But still, how was he to make his business bigger, faster, better?

They talked and talked about it. They fought and fought about it. And then they fought some more, as was the custom in their kingdom. After the dust settled they had come to an agreement. And so they decided to move up the ladder in the world of builders. They would go automated.

How does one go automated you might ask? Well you see, they decided to forego all the old ways and purchase a very nice machine called a CNC Router.

The humble builder spent many long days and night finding just the right machine for his shop. He slogged through swampy internet sites and had covert conversations with seedy salesman searching for perfection. At last he had an answer.

{listen carefully for the trumpet fanfare}

Yes! All the citizens of the kingdom cheered! There was rejoicing far and wide with many beers and drinks of Mead. This was the answer to leaving the dark ages behind and moving up to the East Side! A MultiCam 1000 CNC Router... and it was going to come to their shop! Hooray!!!!

The builder worked and worked to make this machine his. He made the money miser give up his hoard of gold coins to buy it.

He arranged with the traveling caravan to load it in the wagon and deliver it to his shop.

He stressed. He fretted. He drank.

But at last, the big day arrived!

At daybreak he mounted his trusty Honda Odessey and rode bravely to the shop. Would it be there? Would it be late? Would it be in good condition? All these questions and more plagued the poor builder. His wife took pity on him and made sure he had coffee for his tankard, and as they pulled into the grounds, alas what did they find?????

The wagon had arrived early! In fact, the wagonmaster was sleeping in the seat as the builder pulled in the grounds. The builder was so relieved to see it there, and seemingly in good shape as well.

Now," worried the builder, "where is the worker-man who said he would help with his winch-wagon to remove my lovely machine from this beast?"

And so he waited with a new space cleared for his machine.

And he waited.

And he waited some more.

And the builder was not happy. Not happy at all.

After many hours he gave up on the winch-wagon fellow and put out the call for help. After many tries another purveyor of machinery came forward (after extracting many pieces of gold from the builder) (which he was NOT happy about) and brought forth a great beast of burden to remove the machine from the back of the wagon.

At first, this beast looked as though it was going to be the answer. But the citizens may have thought too quick. The beast was cantankerous. The beast was mischievious. Finally the beast lay down next to the wagon.

The builder and the wagon driver were perplexed. Now what? Both called upon the Mrs to inquire about a different beast. So the Mrs sent a message to the beast-master requesting a different beast. Couldn't they just send a different beast?

The beast-master sent a stable boy back with a whip and chain to force the beast to work. They tried. They tried so hard the beast threw a fit in the yard and threw gravel all over the new machine (which again pissed off the builder and the Mrs). The stable boy said it was no good. The beast was dead. It had died in the fight. They would have to get a new beast.

"A new beast?" thought the Mrs. "How can this be?"

"And what of the weather?" the Mrs asked. She was truly worried as the clouds loomed every closer. Rain. A bad bad thing.

But it was true! The beast-master DID send a new beast! And the beast was a sleek animal with power and desire. It was a beautiful thing indeed!

It's first job was to move the old beast away from the wagon. It was not an easy job.

It pushed.

It pulled.

It made the dead beast go away at last. The builder and the Mrs were so relieved!

So the new sleek beast went to work with the wagon driver at the reins. It pushed, it forked, it moved all the parts of the machine with grace and ease. The builder rejoiced at last!!

<------- Notice yonder peasant quarters. No, they are not occupied.

And at long last the machine is at home. It has a warm place in the builder's new shop and all is well in the kingdom.

The builder rests as the next journey is about to begin......... sooooo boys and girls, keep checking your mail for the continuing saga of the CNC machine and the humble builder.

Thank you and good night.

Mrs.

Yeah! I'm back!!

I finally got blogger to give back my account. wow... what a relief.

Lot's to catch up with. Stay tuned!