Yes, today I am more at ease in my skin after passing my first anatomy exam. I was a nervous wreck but it worked out in the end. Stressing out doesn't do anyone any good, and I just keep taking that lesson over and over. Someday it will stick. Not today.
Alaska is burning again this year. Very early for a large scale burn as far as fire season goes, but hopefully from what I can glean from the net, it is better controlled at this point. Honestly? I don't think "control" is a good word for it when you have Xthousand acres burning/smoldering at any given time. But, I do know the hard work the firefighters put into making sure it only gets to a certain point before it runs out of fuel. Unfortunately, the sappy environmentalists have guaranteed job certainty for people like my son with millions of acres of dead trees waiting to be cleaned up by Mother Nature. Jody' blog http://www.jodypryor.com/blog/ keeps me most informed since it is in her back yard, literally.
Jody, if you have to run, I can give you a list of things I miss most. Baby pictures of my kids. My jewelry. My favorite kitchen gadgets, ei: spatula from the restaurant, super-size whisk, huge round iron griddle mom gave me, the quilt from gramma, my cat, my journal, ...
But I have everything that matters most, and starting from scratch can be cathartic. Although the gentle insanity from wondering "do I have that here, or did that burn" really never leaves. Thinking back now it was really trippy to take my kids to the store for tooth brushes and underwear so we could even get dressing the next day. It is more of a surrealistic memory, tempered by time, eased by that lovely gift called shock. Like you have heard me say a hundred times, the best worst thing that happened to me. Hopefully you will never be forced to truly "know" about it.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Caught napping
April 20. 4:20 by any other name. Most of my friends are happily celebrating this spring holiday today. I just woke up from a nap. Bet they will be doing the same thing before long. Although my nap was a well deserved chunk of personal pampering I needed and not a midcelebration break.
Somatic therapy is becoming a wide open question mark. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE getting my hands in the oil and really working out a muscle group, however, the modalities we are studying and the speed they are cramming them down us is very difficult. Last time I took anatomy I spent 3 days a week and a dissection lab studing the human form. Luckily I did very well, and it is serving me to get through this cram course. This time I get 8 four hour sessions with nothing more than a text book and a good (or marginal, depending on the day) memory. This is a hundred times tougher than college.
Never let someone sell you a bill of goods that "trade school" or "career learning" is easier or even faster than college. It just ain't so. BA degrees scoff at those of us who chose this route. I say to them... stick it! It is an amazing journey, but "easy" is not part of the ride.
Somatic therapy is becoming a wide open question mark. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE getting my hands in the oil and really working out a muscle group, however, the modalities we are studying and the speed they are cramming them down us is very difficult. Last time I took anatomy I spent 3 days a week and a dissection lab studing the human form. Luckily I did very well, and it is serving me to get through this cram course. This time I get 8 four hour sessions with nothing more than a text book and a good (or marginal, depending on the day) memory. This is a hundred times tougher than college.
Never let someone sell you a bill of goods that "trade school" or "career learning" is easier or even faster than college. It just ain't so. BA degrees scoff at those of us who chose this route. I say to them... stick it! It is an amazing journey, but "easy" is not part of the ride.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Wow... nice right hook!
Holy cow did I get JUST what I needed today. Yes, I agree Scott. I am drowning in self pity and it makes me feel shitty. Thanks for being there when I need it. And with that being said, did I ever get plowed under by "doin' the mom-thing" this weekend.
Saturday was Derek's first Prom. I hemmed and hawed about going because I just refuse to subject myself to the judgment of my old life, but I sucked it up and went just for Derek's sake. It was totally worth it to see him in a tux for the first time and picking up his first date with all the nervous energy. I did go to Downs to get his flowers for Emily and saw some old friends there. What a strain that was. Walking into the flower shop was an interesting feeling, but we all survived it with relatively few scrapes.
Then I raced back to KC because Sarah was coming down Saturday night to spend the night before going to pick up a puppy for her father on Sunday.
Her car broke down in Topeka and luckily I had not gone through at that point, so she caught a ride with me to KC from there. Sunday we went to Columbia MO to get the new puppy then back to Topeka to meet her dad and retrieve her car. As I was driving back to KC on Sunday night, I figured the hours I had spent in the car from Friday night to Sunday could have easily landed my butt in the Grand Canyon had I just kept going. Maybe next time....
School is just an awesome experience. I can hardly wait for Tuesdays and Thursdays. We have started Swedish massage classes, so we are literally a "hands on" class now. One of the best things is being in the same head space with people who actually think like I do for the first time in my life. Is that shallow? Not that others in my life didn't challenge and expand me, but body workers have a skewed view besides being the pinnacle of procrastinators. What a riot to see 14 other people show up for class like I do and we are all doing the cram and slam with the homework issue. Apparently it is a prerequisite to be a procrastinator. No lie. They actually told us that on the first day of Ethics class. G-d, I have found my niche!
I have to do 30 massages (free) on anyone who will allow me before the end of June. It is part of the requirement for graduation. Poor Steve is already looking at me with a distinct look of "oh shit, again???" when I approach him. Poor baby. Suppose I should seek more volunteers?
Well, it is Monday, I do have homework (which we all know I will excuse away until tomorrow) but the trash man is not as generous, so I better go put it at the curb before I am stuck with two weeks worth instead of one.
And just for those who read this, here is a picture of my bestestestest friend who can just smack me precisely when I need it in just the right way.
Thanks Scott. You rock!
Saturday was Derek's first Prom. I hemmed and hawed about going because I just refuse to subject myself to the judgment of my old life, but I sucked it up and went just for Derek's sake. It was totally worth it to see him in a tux for the first time and picking up his first date with all the nervous energy. I did go to Downs to get his flowers for Emily and saw some old friends there. What a strain that was. Walking into the flower shop was an interesting feeling, but we all survived it with relatively few scrapes.
Then I raced back to KC because Sarah was coming down Saturday night to spend the night before going to pick up a puppy for her father on Sunday.
Her car broke down in Topeka and luckily I had not gone through at that point, so she caught a ride with me to KC from there. Sunday we went to Columbia MO to get the new puppy then back to Topeka to meet her dad and retrieve her car. As I was driving back to KC on Sunday night, I figured the hours I had spent in the car from Friday night to Sunday could have easily landed my butt in the Grand Canyon had I just kept going. Maybe next time....
School is just an awesome experience. I can hardly wait for Tuesdays and Thursdays. We have started Swedish massage classes, so we are literally a "hands on" class now. One of the best things is being in the same head space with people who actually think like I do for the first time in my life. Is that shallow? Not that others in my life didn't challenge and expand me, but body workers have a skewed view besides being the pinnacle of procrastinators. What a riot to see 14 other people show up for class like I do and we are all doing the cram and slam with the homework issue. Apparently it is a prerequisite to be a procrastinator. No lie. They actually told us that on the first day of Ethics class. G-d, I have found my niche!
I have to do 30 massages (free) on anyone who will allow me before the end of June. It is part of the requirement for graduation. Poor Steve is already looking at me with a distinct look of "oh shit, again???" when I approach him. Poor baby. Suppose I should seek more volunteers?
Well, it is Monday, I do have homework (which we all know I will excuse away until tomorrow) but the trash man is not as generous, so I better go put it at the curb before I am stuck with two weeks worth instead of one.
And just for those who read this, here is a picture of my bestestestest friend who can just smack me precisely when I need it in just the right way.
Thanks Scott. You rock!
Friday, April 08, 2005
Today is Friday. I sit here not quite sure I really want to write this because of the aftershocks should anyone but me ever read it. ~sigh~
I am just at a loss as to my children. I have done the best with the abilities and frailties and challenges presented to me. I have worked like a dog to make sure everyone is happy or at least settled with all decisions and implications. Nothing seems to be telling me it was worth while. None of them (except for Ian and Nick) accept the fact I am married and years ago moved on with my own life, first alone then with my significant other. I am frankly just sick of playing namby-pamby with their collective feelings and getting the shitty end of the stick every time.
Derek, bless his little heart, does really try to stay connected with me and I love and recognize his work for that, but Sarah and Jake are not so good about it. Sarah has a million and one reasons she can't come to see me but she will drive 6 1/2 hours to get a damn dog for her dear old Daddy-o, and Jake makes promises about spending time with me then breaks each and every promise but will drive to KC at a moments notice to pick up or drop off friends at the airport. Am I just imagining this? My feelings are mine. I feel like the resident tumor everyone can see but noone wants to deal with. It is an ugly feeling.
I am just at a loss as to my children. I have done the best with the abilities and frailties and challenges presented to me. I have worked like a dog to make sure everyone is happy or at least settled with all decisions and implications. Nothing seems to be telling me it was worth while. None of them (except for Ian and Nick) accept the fact I am married and years ago moved on with my own life, first alone then with my significant other. I am frankly just sick of playing namby-pamby with their collective feelings and getting the shitty end of the stick every time.
Derek, bless his little heart, does really try to stay connected with me and I love and recognize his work for that, but Sarah and Jake are not so good about it. Sarah has a million and one reasons she can't come to see me but she will drive 6 1/2 hours to get a damn dog for her dear old Daddy-o, and Jake makes promises about spending time with me then breaks each and every promise but will drive to KC at a moments notice to pick up or drop off friends at the airport. Am I just imagining this? My feelings are mine. I feel like the resident tumor everyone can see but noone wants to deal with. It is an ugly feeling.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Ridiculous
I, too, am watching with interest the Terri Shiavo fiasco. Like many people, it has touched a part of my heart I don't really like to acknowledge. Yes, the court system and her "loving" husband are starving her to death but more accurately they are forcing her death to occur through dehydration.
What kind of moronic mentality can justify this? Have these people never studied the workings of the human body on even so much as an elementary level? It is, according to my teachers and human physiology text books a long cruel and painful process to endure. Plus, I have a personal knowledge of a remotely similar experience, and let me tell ya, it just plain sucked. It was one of those moments in time that tend to forge you in a particular fashion, never to change after that.
Someone whom I loved as my mother died in basically this same fashion, however, she was terminal and would never have a quality of life. She was dying anyway and the end for her was simply an inability to nourish her ravaged body or even swallow in the end. It was excruciating to witness. I remember like it was yesterday, wiping her lips with the little pink spongy thing the hospice brought in and she would literally bite the sponge to get water. They told us it was a physiological reaction. Who knows if they were right. Who actually cares. It personally made me feel like I was being the most heartless person in the world even though I could not do a damn thing for her.
Yes, I know the cancer killed her in the end. But after personally witnessing someone being unable to take in nourishment or water, what they are doing to this Florida woman has gone beyond cruel and unusual. Come on people! Wake up! Animals in the pound get better consideration when it comes to life support or removing it.
I spoke at length with my sister regarding this just last night. She feels they are totally justified in doing what they are doing. Her view of "quality of life" is different than mine. She is all about "pulling the plug if I can't take care of myself". Ok. Fine. Terri's family does not share the same view, and just who the hell is the American Court System to tell them differently? I can't imagine the agony they are experiencing not being able to provide care for their daughter. If that was one of my children lying in that bed, I would be in prison before they kept me from giving her something as simple as water or nourishment. Keep in mind, Terri is not terminally ill. She is not being ravaged by some incurable horror. She simply has a "husband" who wants to move on with life and his new family, thereby negating his current responsibilities. Fine! Give her custody back to her parents and let them deal with it. That seems to be all they ever wanted in the first place, ten long years ago.
What kind of moronic mentality can justify this? Have these people never studied the workings of the human body on even so much as an elementary level? It is, according to my teachers and human physiology text books a long cruel and painful process to endure. Plus, I have a personal knowledge of a remotely similar experience, and let me tell ya, it just plain sucked. It was one of those moments in time that tend to forge you in a particular fashion, never to change after that.
Someone whom I loved as my mother died in basically this same fashion, however, she was terminal and would never have a quality of life. She was dying anyway and the end for her was simply an inability to nourish her ravaged body or even swallow in the end. It was excruciating to witness. I remember like it was yesterday, wiping her lips with the little pink spongy thing the hospice brought in and she would literally bite the sponge to get water. They told us it was a physiological reaction. Who knows if they were right. Who actually cares. It personally made me feel like I was being the most heartless person in the world even though I could not do a damn thing for her.
Yes, I know the cancer killed her in the end. But after personally witnessing someone being unable to take in nourishment or water, what they are doing to this Florida woman has gone beyond cruel and unusual. Come on people! Wake up! Animals in the pound get better consideration when it comes to life support or removing it.
I spoke at length with my sister regarding this just last night. She feels they are totally justified in doing what they are doing. Her view of "quality of life" is different than mine. She is all about "pulling the plug if I can't take care of myself". Ok. Fine. Terri's family does not share the same view, and just who the hell is the American Court System to tell them differently? I can't imagine the agony they are experiencing not being able to provide care for their daughter. If that was one of my children lying in that bed, I would be in prison before they kept me from giving her something as simple as water or nourishment. Keep in mind, Terri is not terminally ill. She is not being ravaged by some incurable horror. She simply has a "husband" who wants to move on with life and his new family, thereby negating his current responsibilities. Fine! Give her custody back to her parents and let them deal with it. That seems to be all they ever wanted in the first place, ten long years ago.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Massage therapist...me?
I did it. I went to my first day of classes and loved every second. Well almost every second except the guilt over ignoring my own nutritional health for so many years. Yes, my own health is a wreck and fixable through personal committment, but laziness is a way of life for junk foodies like me. It is just so EASY to pull into the drive through or stop at the deli on the way home. Do you suppose this is part of the prod from the Higher Powers to get my life in shape? hhhmmmm.......
The two teachers I was introduced to yesterday were enjoyable. Both presented dry and flushable information in an interesting and approachable manner. Nutrition is changing at the speed of light right now and everything we learn will be null if we don't push for self-education. Ethics are as easy or as hard as a practitioner wishes to make them. To me it seems like common sense and common courtesy, but complicated by free-will and open interpretation. It seems the hard part will be making my clients think as I do while in my space. Then it comes down to do I want their money or do I want control? hhhmmm....
College is never a time of narrowing choices, only a time of expanding horizons. It could be said it is not the same for a "trade school", but it would not be true. It is what I love about diving back into the education process. Stretch marks on the brain are always a good thing.
Having a 45 minute commute through some of the most congested traffic in KC does give me time to mull it over, that is if the insane drivers here would STOP thinking my cushion room between me and the car in front of me is their personal slot to crowd into. Jezzuss people, have we never heard of defensive driving???? What the hell exactly do they think the "3 car lengths" thingy is about? And lets face it there is just something freaky about being stopped completely in a lane, waiting to get on the off-ramp, and having semi's doing 65 mph fifteen inches from my honda. find your happy place lori, find your happy place.......
My ethics teacher, a LMT from Nebraska, (ew) spoke about how the massage process for 99% of the clients will cause physical and emotional reactions where people will laugh, cry, and unload their soul with no ablity to stop the onslaught, especially when the deep tissue work is being done. I have always been a good listener, so this part will not be different, but when I am receiving the session, am I ready to open up like that? Another big hhhhmmmmmmm........
Hope my team of Guardians is ready for this one.
Time to study! more later....
The two teachers I was introduced to yesterday were enjoyable. Both presented dry and flushable information in an interesting and approachable manner. Nutrition is changing at the speed of light right now and everything we learn will be null if we don't push for self-education. Ethics are as easy or as hard as a practitioner wishes to make them. To me it seems like common sense and common courtesy, but complicated by free-will and open interpretation. It seems the hard part will be making my clients think as I do while in my space. Then it comes down to do I want their money or do I want control? hhhmmm....
College is never a time of narrowing choices, only a time of expanding horizons. It could be said it is not the same for a "trade school", but it would not be true. It is what I love about diving back into the education process. Stretch marks on the brain are always a good thing.
Having a 45 minute commute through some of the most congested traffic in KC does give me time to mull it over, that is if the insane drivers here would STOP thinking my cushion room between me and the car in front of me is their personal slot to crowd into. Jezzuss people, have we never heard of defensive driving???? What the hell exactly do they think the "3 car lengths" thingy is about? And lets face it there is just something freaky about being stopped completely in a lane, waiting to get on the off-ramp, and having semi's doing 65 mph fifteen inches from my honda. find your happy place lori, find your happy place.......
My ethics teacher, a LMT from Nebraska, (ew) spoke about how the massage process for 99% of the clients will cause physical and emotional reactions where people will laugh, cry, and unload their soul with no ablity to stop the onslaught, especially when the deep tissue work is being done. I have always been a good listener, so this part will not be different, but when I am receiving the session, am I ready to open up like that? Another big hhhhmmmmmmm........
Hope my team of Guardians is ready for this one.
Time to study! more later....
Friday, March 11, 2005
Not worth blogging?
I tried to post this comment on Jody's blog http://www.jodypryor.com/blog/ , but as we all know, the great and powerful OZ only has a sense of humor at certain hours of the day so I will just blog it here. ~Nyah~ to you OZ.
Blogging should not have to have power rock-your-world comments in every topic. A dear friend said to me some of the most profound things he has read were simply everyday feelings written out that went straight to his soul. With that being said.....
Hot flashes, sick children, having a job chomping at the bit to ax you, spouse issues, money challenges, and on and on and on are all things that affect each of us on a daily basis. I am am extremely simple person. I know the political big wigs are messing with my happy spot, but let's get real. Can we really do anything about it?
Hell no. I would like to say our little tiny voices in the mist penetrate at some level. That's not gonna happen.
Is blogging about making a difference? No, not exactly. It does tend to make one feel better in the long run. Venting in a written form can be beneficial on several levels. It helps me tremendously to journal things and read later the state of mind I was in. One of my favorites is about my dad. It reduces me to 7 years old at the drop of a hat. Not bad for a country girl with a high school education.
Jody, blog your hot flashes. You are the Alaskan Grandmother. There is great joy in life stories. They seem very small and insignificant compared to the political facade of our current regime, but to me seem more profound than Bush's bullshit stacked in a pile.
Back to our regular program.... it's spring. Time to check the fences.
Blogging should not have to have power rock-your-world comments in every topic. A dear friend said to me some of the most profound things he has read were simply everyday feelings written out that went straight to his soul. With that being said.....
Hot flashes, sick children, having a job chomping at the bit to ax you, spouse issues, money challenges, and on and on and on are all things that affect each of us on a daily basis. I am am extremely simple person. I know the political big wigs are messing with my happy spot, but let's get real. Can we really do anything about it?
Hell no. I would like to say our little tiny voices in the mist penetrate at some level. That's not gonna happen.
Is blogging about making a difference? No, not exactly. It does tend to make one feel better in the long run. Venting in a written form can be beneficial on several levels. It helps me tremendously to journal things and read later the state of mind I was in. One of my favorites is about my dad. It reduces me to 7 years old at the drop of a hat. Not bad for a country girl with a high school education.
Jody, blog your hot flashes. You are the Alaskan Grandmother. There is great joy in life stories. They seem very small and insignificant compared to the political facade of our current regime, but to me seem more profound than Bush's bullshit stacked in a pile.
Back to our regular program.... it's spring. Time to check the fences.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Hindsight is...
brutal. Review always helps and I didn't. Consequently, I blogged basically the same shit I wrote 3 months ago. What an idiot.
And I am being paid to write? What a joke. HA! Definitely a "three stooges" moment....
later....
And I am being paid to write? What a joke. HA! Definitely a "three stooges" moment....
later....
Dear Scott
Since it has been a long dry spell at bloggertown, I am actually doing as I threatened. Scotty, I loves ya but I am cutting and pasting just as I said I would. Here's hoping it will kick start the brain currently on bypass.
It was nice to get your E back. I am glad you caught me up on all your happenings. Mine are a big swirly when I stop and think about it all since September ... between the wedding (oy) quitting a job, getting a job, a free lance writing gig for a magazine, midlife crisis crap and (finally) kicking the vicaden habit, my life needs a breather.
Now, if there were only funds available for a weekend at the beach, a blanket to wrap up in, a nice bon fire, and no noise but waves crashing I think I could scrape my shit back in a pile. Until then....... hhmmmm.....
OH and then there are my kids. wow. who'd a thought my oldest would be the heroic son of a bitch, my daughter would be a carbon copy of dear old mom, my 16 year old would be a law breaker, my 11 year old would have medical issue hammering him, and my baby (my little empath) would be 8! by now. Gawd I am old.
Sept. The wedding was pretty cool. Rained like a bitch but that made it really feel like the beach, which is want I wanted. Not a big crowd, but everyone that showed had a ball, and who can ask for more. A really cool part was after it was over, we were driving home to get the luggage for a couple days away and the golf course next door to us was shooting off huge fireworks. The perfect ending considering we originally planned the whole thing for July 4. Sweet.
Oct. The doc finally declared me at medical maximum improvement and I had to go back to work at the airport. This time I really started to enjoy being in the middle of 2000 people a day. I changed gates (went from US Air to Delta) and made some great friends. When the company found out I was never going to be able to lift 70 lbs again, they wanted to fire me on the spot. I kicked a fit and got an extra 90 days out of them to get reevaluated, but knew it was just a window to find something else.
Nov. Holidays. Not my most shining moments. Hate 'em. Totally believe holidays are the emotional rape of humanity by the materialistic modernists out to keep 99.9% of us miserable.
Dec. See entry for Nov.
Jan. Started a job at ADT as an outbound dispatcher. "Good morning this is Lori with ADT Security Services. There is a burglar alarm going off at your location is everything ok there? May I have your password please? May I have your first and last name please? You have a good day!" "Oh your house is on fire? Don't worry hon, you can get a new one, I did." LOL... 8 hours a day. On my ass in a chair. On the phone. somebody help me. So that has made the midlife "gotta change this and follow my heart" thing really kick up a notch. I have been tossing around this idea of being a massage therapist for a year or so now. Today my light finally came on. I don't know why. I was sitting here reading your email and it just clicked. Just jump off! If this is what you want, focking go out there and get it. What de hell are you waiting on?? Sorry about the self talk. I should be blogging this,(yes I miss writing in my blog) but you get to be the lucky recipient. Maybe I will cut and paste this whole thing. ha.
My kids.... Jake is 22 and now teaching classes as a firefighter. He works 6 months a year on wildland fires and this winter he is traveling the midwest teaching fire science to community fire fighters. Where the hell did he come from????? If I didn't have the stretch marks to prove he is mine, and if he hadn't been the only baby born in Beloit that week I would swear they switched him. Oh. and he looks just like me... so I guess that wouldn't work. And he drinks just like the rest of my family, it breaks my heart but he is well on his way to becoming a high functioning alcoholic just like the rest of the McMurrays. Nuts don't fall far from the tree I am afraid.
Sarah. 20. Not much to say about that. She is beautiful, confused, trying and scared, but hanging in there just the same. At least she has not followed her brother into the drinking world, she is studying for a career in international agriculture (whatever the hell that is).
Derek. 16. Currently the newest pet in the court system in Jewell County. Not incarcerated at this point, but If he has another showdown like he had in October, ..... their football team went a long way this year but got beat at the state level... well you know how dumbshit jocks are, they all went out drinking after that. Dear old Derek, he was driving (YIKES) back to Jewell and the officer flashed his lights. Derek (fool) panicked and RAN from the cop, got caught and of course failed the breathalizer. I got a phone call at 4:30 a.m. with this kid crying hysterically on the phone... mom...mom... i am sorry... Shit Scott, I thought someone had died.
Well, he got his psych eval yesterday. I don't know how it came out (I personally think he has some very REAL issues, but getting my ex to talk about that would be like the mountain actually moving to Mohammad) and then there is the whole diversion case to be worked out.... Yep, see why I need a weekend at the beach??? :)
My youngest two are still innocent and would it be horrible if I home schooled them in a cabin in the woods somewhere? Ok, I am waiting for MTTI to call me back. I hope they have a session starting soon and a way for me to make bank while at school... meanwhile, I have to get this magazine story finished. Deadline is the 23rd and I am just happier writing to you instead of their crap. ha.
Tell me about your school!!! And by the way, it sounds like moving out was a great deal for you! congrats...
As always, Lori
It was nice to get your E back. I am glad you caught me up on all your happenings. Mine are a big swirly when I stop and think about it all since September ... between the wedding (oy) quitting a job, getting a job, a free lance writing gig for a magazine, midlife crisis crap and (finally) kicking the vicaden habit, my life needs a breather.
Now, if there were only funds available for a weekend at the beach, a blanket to wrap up in, a nice bon fire, and no noise but waves crashing I think I could scrape my shit back in a pile. Until then....... hhmmmm.....
OH and then there are my kids. wow. who'd a thought my oldest would be the heroic son of a bitch, my daughter would be a carbon copy of dear old mom, my 16 year old would be a law breaker, my 11 year old would have medical issue hammering him, and my baby (my little empath) would be 8! by now. Gawd I am old.
Sept. The wedding was pretty cool. Rained like a bitch but that made it really feel like the beach, which is want I wanted. Not a big crowd, but everyone that showed had a ball, and who can ask for more. A really cool part was after it was over, we were driving home to get the luggage for a couple days away and the golf course next door to us was shooting off huge fireworks. The perfect ending considering we originally planned the whole thing for July 4. Sweet.
Oct. The doc finally declared me at medical maximum improvement and I had to go back to work at the airport. This time I really started to enjoy being in the middle of 2000 people a day. I changed gates (went from US Air to Delta) and made some great friends. When the company found out I was never going to be able to lift 70 lbs again, they wanted to fire me on the spot. I kicked a fit and got an extra 90 days out of them to get reevaluated, but knew it was just a window to find something else.
Nov. Holidays. Not my most shining moments. Hate 'em. Totally believe holidays are the emotional rape of humanity by the materialistic modernists out to keep 99.9% of us miserable.
Dec. See entry for Nov.
Jan. Started a job at ADT as an outbound dispatcher. "Good morning this is Lori with ADT Security Services. There is a burglar alarm going off at your location is everything ok there? May I have your password please? May I have your first and last name please? You have a good day!" "Oh your house is on fire? Don't worry hon, you can get a new one, I did." LOL... 8 hours a day. On my ass in a chair. On the phone. somebody help me. So that has made the midlife "gotta change this and follow my heart" thing really kick up a notch. I have been tossing around this idea of being a massage therapist for a year or so now. Today my light finally came on. I don't know why. I was sitting here reading your email and it just clicked. Just jump off! If this is what you want, focking go out there and get it. What de hell are you waiting on?? Sorry about the self talk. I should be blogging this,(yes I miss writing in my blog) but you get to be the lucky recipient. Maybe I will cut and paste this whole thing. ha.
My kids.... Jake is 22 and now teaching classes as a firefighter. He works 6 months a year on wildland fires and this winter he is traveling the midwest teaching fire science to community fire fighters. Where the hell did he come from????? If I didn't have the stretch marks to prove he is mine, and if he hadn't been the only baby born in Beloit that week I would swear they switched him. Oh. and he looks just like me... so I guess that wouldn't work. And he drinks just like the rest of my family, it breaks my heart but he is well on his way to becoming a high functioning alcoholic just like the rest of the McMurrays. Nuts don't fall far from the tree I am afraid.
Sarah. 20. Not much to say about that. She is beautiful, confused, trying and scared, but hanging in there just the same. At least she has not followed her brother into the drinking world, she is studying for a career in international agriculture (whatever the hell that is).
Derek. 16. Currently the newest pet in the court system in Jewell County. Not incarcerated at this point, but If he has another showdown like he had in October, ..... their football team went a long way this year but got beat at the state level... well you know how dumbshit jocks are, they all went out drinking after that. Dear old Derek, he was driving (YIKES) back to Jewell and the officer flashed his lights. Derek (fool) panicked and RAN from the cop, got caught and of course failed the breathalizer. I got a phone call at 4:30 a.m. with this kid crying hysterically on the phone... mom...mom... i am sorry... Shit Scott, I thought someone had died.
Well, he got his psych eval yesterday. I don't know how it came out (I personally think he has some very REAL issues, but getting my ex to talk about that would be like the mountain actually moving to Mohammad) and then there is the whole diversion case to be worked out.... Yep, see why I need a weekend at the beach??? :)
My youngest two are still innocent and would it be horrible if I home schooled them in a cabin in the woods somewhere? Ok, I am waiting for MTTI to call me back. I hope they have a session starting soon and a way for me to make bank while at school... meanwhile, I have to get this magazine story finished. Deadline is the 23rd and I am just happier writing to you instead of their crap. ha.
Tell me about your school!!! And by the way, it sounds like moving out was a great deal for you! congrats...
As always, Lori
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