Things I've learned this week

I've learned a lot this week. Things like standing up for yourself and telling someone off even if it means burning some bridges. Check. Did that Tuesday.

I learned I see "immediate" and not long term. Ouch. Learned that one the hard way. See my bruise? Yeah, that's the one... right around my left eye. Unfortunately, I am afraid I will continue to be this way. No apologies on my part.

I learned some people are just dicks when they get behind the wheel of the car, no matter how nice they are face to face. ....and yes, I might just be one of those people.

I learned Lowe's changes the formula on paint without telling you, and there is no way in hell to get it to match. Thank the fluffy muff they gave me a free gallon otherwise I would have had to rip someone's head off.

I learned I do not like student massage. It is akin to shopping at Big Lots and finding a really great deal. Sometimes it happens... sometimes it doesn't and you come away feeling abused. Yeow.

I learned my cat is a trouble maker. Little shit.

I learned I really don't like the holidays. No. Recind that. I already knew that.

I learned living in the city means you sit in line for 45 damn minutes to wash your car. Yes. I said fourty five damn minutes. Jeezus. Can't these people see I have better things to do?

I learned there is more than one person in the world with the "big picture" ability than my hubby possesses and unfortuantely (or fortunately) I am going into business with him. ~shit~

I learned I like tequila and orange juice.

I learned tobacco is a curse from hell.

I learned I really don't like cold weather. Oops. Recind again. Just remembered I knew that. Still hate the shit.

I learned there really are some wonderful people in my life and they have loved on me like nobody's business over this journey of starting my own practice. Thanks to you. You know who you are.

I am "learning" to like being 43. Things that used to really tear me up are not so bad. (maybe I better write that down and keep it in my purse)

When I thought about this entry on my way home today, I had a TON of stuff. Now... I just can't remember most of it. Might be the tequila, might be the seasonal depression, might be the fact my brain is going eight thousand different directions trying to cover every angle of getting a business in a metropolitan area up and sucessful. I don't know.

If I remember more, I will be sure and tell ya.

As usual, the snow (which was really pretty for a 13 inch snow) is gone. Warm days took all my kids fun away, but resuced my car from the salt coating. Now the view is just brown and shitty again. Mother Earth rests, I freeze for a couple of months, but spring is just around the corner... right? Right???

Lie to me. Really. I want you to.

So I have decided on paint, ordered curtains, moved my table into my office, and still have to get a chair, an end table, and a lamp and I will be open for business. My most significant guide tells me not to worry. My new business partner tells me not to worry. My cohorts tell me not to worry. Still I worry. It's the whole marketing thing. I gave up being shy years ago, but actually getting someone to commit to an appointment is difficult. I know it is all in the presentation and the language, but it is a skill I am still working out. I hope like hell I can find the cash to make it through until the skill is honed.

Mom & Dad gave me a portable chair for Christmas, and that will help make a little bit of scratch, as long as A. keeps funneling me jobs. BTW, Thank you Mom & Dad! Every little bit helps!

Remember the dog I was ready to give away? Update.... still ready to give her away... primarily because she has NO concept of living with someone who is NOT a morning person. Honestly, I wish I could get it across her little mind I do not enjoy having a slobber-ridden chew toy dropped on my legs before my second cup of coffee in the morning. Hey, I will play, And I will enjoy it, just not before the pot is empty.

Got my chimney checked yesterday. I could not wait to burn a real fire in my very own fireplace. So here's the story .... feel free to visualize.

The chimney guy tells me I have a short flue, so it needs to be warmed before building a fire. No problem! I have a gas starter. I turn the starter on, wave my lighter around it. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Oh Yeah! The gas must be off in the basement. So downstairs I go, find the valve, turn it on, back upstairs I go, turn on the starter again and wave my lighter. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Ok, at this point I am thinking I want something longer than my hand with a baby bic in it. So I get a couple of strands of spaghetti (yes, works well as a match) and light 'em up.

I am waving them under the starter .... WHOOOOOSH!..... Now I got a flame!

SHIT!!!! It is coming out around the bricks in the firebox! Ohshit ohshit ohshit.

Now for those of you that know me, I have already endured one house burning to the ground. I am in a full blown panic attack at this point trying to get the gas shut off, get all the valves closed, and hoping like hell my house is not in mortal danger. Uncontrolled fire is not something I wish to experience again.

Yes, it is funny now. Hell, the guy at the gas company even got such a good laugh out of my story he sent someone over just to check and make sure everything was ok. They don't do that anymore because of man-power issues, but he said my story was worth sending someone just because I made him laugh. I bet I was the talk of the MGE emergency number office.

End result? The joint to the burner is leaking. We decided to do without the luxury of a starter and just do the damn thing. Turned off the gas again, and built me a nice little fire.

aaahhhh.......... wood heat........ nothing like it.

Ahhhhhhh..... December 6 and no more class...no more clinic.... no more spoonfed politics. It is great, but my stress level is reaching choke heights. Wonder why? Because it is the holidays, I have to get my business up and running by January 1, and because its the holidays... did I already say that?

Oh well. Deal.

It is snowing like a bitch outside right now. Hubby is gone all night to push snow because these fucktards in this city don't have a clue how to drive in bad weather. How hard is the concept to grasp... slow the hell down?? Don't ride the brake?? Don't romp on the gas to get out of the parking lot if someone is coming at you?? I went to help a friend fix up her house today and the snow hadn't started. By the time I left about three hours later, I went by at least 15 wrecks. Jezzuss people. Have you Ever been behind the wheel of a car before?

Yeah, I have had my share of vehicle mishaps. I remember one time riding in the car with my mother, she was white knuckling it all the way, I was a mere 17 years old, so you KNOW at that point I knew everything. Yep, we ended up in the ditch, but it was a soft landing. But I was 17 fercrist sake!

oh well. Tomorrow will bring yet another round of my continually growing road rage as I slide my way to the grocery store. Hopefully Bubba and his buddies will stay the hell home.

Completion

This is it. The final week of classes. Less than a year ago I started a journey to learn about massage therapy, and as of this Friday I will have finished the first step. It's been difficult, political, delightful, exhausting, and so worth every second of time. I look forward now to learning Lomi Lomi in March and having that to offer clients seeking to relax and de-stress.

Last week we demolished our living room, textured the walls (courtesy of yours truly), painted, and brought our brick fireplace back to life. Just in time since it went from 60 degrees and tornado warnings to snow the next day... so my house is in a state of disorganization, but hey, it's gonna look good soon! To top off our thanksgiving break, we went and painted my parents house. Now I am really tired of remodeling. :)

Hubby says today we need to get a tree. 'Spose that means I better stop the surfing and finish cleaning up the house. ggrrrr......

Where's that maid when I need her?

I am thankful for:

I am Thankful :


for the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato, because he is home with me and not out at the bars.

for the kid who is complaining about doing dishes because it means he is at home, not on the streets.

for the taxes I pay, because it means I am employed.

for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

for my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

for a lawn that needs mowing, for windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing because that means I have a home.

for all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech.

for the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and have been blessed with transportation.


for my huge heating bill because it means I am warm.

for the neighbor that plays his music too loud, way too late, because it means I can hear.

for the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.

for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means I am alive.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

Yep, I am FOURTY THREE. oh my..............

Yep, it's my damn birthday. I am sooooo Maxine.

So there. I love you all, but, hey.

Btw ........... Mom and Dad, Thanks so much. The card you sent ment more to me than you will ever know.

I love you.

6 weeks

.... yes, six weeks is all I have left before I am officially employable as a massage therapist. It has been grueling to say the least. I never once thought of actually quitting, but there were many many days of oh shit what have I gotten myself into this time. Between the politics, the personality clashes, and the scheduling nightmares, school has/is difficult, but doable.

I have learned a lot. I have a lot left to learn, however, not at MTTI. From here on out, the general consensus is to get CEU's from the source. Dear hubby is not to sure about the month I want to spend in Big Sur, California, or the two week retreat to Hawaii, or even the weekend intensive road trip to Wisconsin, but he will eventually. And I will have some amazing skills as a result.

Ever had Esalen or Lomi Lomi??? If you can get it, do it. You won't regret it. It makes me feel like I am on another plain. The totality of the touch you receive will blow your mind. Expensive to get, but worth every cent.

Promise.

On a side note, I gotta get a damn job. I hate this part. I love working. I love long days and satisfaction of being just a cut above for my client. I hate asking for a job. It's my baggage, and unfortunately it is strapped on firmly. ~sigh~ must be that whole "pride" thing.... or just the independence that was instilled in me from birth.

Thanks dad. Gee thanks.

:)

As I sit here with my morning coffee, my heart is just not in it to write. Yesterday was not fun. It started out fun, but went crashing in flames as the minutes ticked along.

I went to school early to trade massage with Steph. After visiting with the administration about job placement locally, I went to find my friend. I could tell instantly there was something wrong. She lives with her sister who is a labor and delivery nurse. Karen had been through hell at work, C-sections, fetal demise, (oh and what the hell kind of phrase is that anyway and can the medical establishment come up with a MORE fucked up way to deal with grief? ) ... just all kinds of shit. I agreed with Steph, it was horrid and she needed a massage.

So that went well, I ripped off some new techniques from her, and we went out the door to lunch. Her phone rang and CJ was on the phone. I watched Steph break down in tears as we were walking. Oh shit, I thought. What could be wrong now? Did CJ wreck her van? Is CJ's hubby ok? Like normal, my mind just took off.

No. CJ is ok. It was our other girlfriend from school. Her daughter is pregnant. They knew it's a girl. Baby already has a name. My GF even moved into a larger apartment just to accomodate a new baby in the house. All for......

The nurse lost heart tones after placing mom on the monitor. 40 minutes later..... yes I said FOURTY DAMN MINUTES LATER she decides to get another NURSE for a second opinion.

an HOUR after that, they get someone in to do another test ...... meanwhile, this family was left in the dark, no discussion and just where the fuck was a DOCTOR?

So my GF-soon-to-be-gramma-but-not-now spent the day getting people to go to her new home and pack and remove all of baby girls things. Today my friends and I are headed over there to paint a little pink room white before mom gets home.

Sometimes life just sucks shit.

Oh! always remember to interview your doctor. After all, You pay him.

Running

I am so tired this morning. I just finished my last Thursday night of clinic (yeah!) which means no more 16 hour days. Today I have to take off for the old home town - 4 hours away. Tonight is Homecoming, and my third child is, of course, in the festivities. ugh. So in a few minutes, I load in my car, go get the oil changed first, and run head first into another 16 hour day. I'm too old for this shit.

The ex called yesterday and wants me to take child number 3 shopping for clothes to wear for senior pics on Saturday. Yikes! I am about to have 3 kids past high school age. Once again, the age thing is nipping at my heels. Was it just yesterday I was a mom to little kids? ... and now all my girlfriends and myself are grammas. DAMN IT! I love it, but can't I have my youth too???

Well, not all my girlfriends... Steph is working hard to get a job in Tortola. I hope she gets it. I need a vacation to someplace tropical. And speaking of living on an island, Jody has temporarily moved to a little village in Alaska which honestly sounds like island living in an arctic region. She is still on the mainland, however she is in a fly in/fly out situation. I think all that would play out so much nicer with palm trees and sand. Just my opinion.

Steve's band made the Blues Challenge again this year. They have some new personel on board this time, and if things go good, we just might be making a trek to Memphis this winter for the national contest. Keep your fingers crossed! Kansas City Blues Society is making some noise this year (again, new leadership). They are finally getting the politics out of the music.

Ok happy people, wish me luck and good gas mileage. I need it.....

brain dominance

Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.
Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.
Overall you appear to be Left Brain Dominant

oh crap. now how do I go about exercising the right side of my brain? certainly I am not looking forward to having half my brain atrophy. hhmmmm....

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (28%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (70%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Word test to discover Your brain dominance